What to do when you feel misunderstood
If you find yourself over-explaining, correcting, or hoping others will see things your way, and they don’t... it can sting like a grumpy bee. 🐝
❤️ But here’s the truth: even if others don’t fully understand your perspective, you’re still valuable, lovable, and important.
We at SereniTeen believe in your uniqueness, and that’s why we made this article: to help you understand why you might feel misunderstood and what you can do about it.
Reasons you might feel or be misunderstood
1. They didn’t understand what you were communicating
Sometimes people don’t fully get what you’re saying. They misinterpret your words and react based on that.
But that doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Often, this can be cleared up with calm, honest communication. 🧘♀️
2. You’re unique, and that’s awesome!
You might be more creative, curious, or complex than most people.
That can make it harder for others to instantly relate, but it doesn’t mean you need to change. Being different is not a flaw. ✨
3. You’re figuring things out
When you’re going through something new, it can be tricky to explain what you feel or need.
That’s normal. With a little time and reflection, you’ll get better at expressing your inner world. 😉
4. They’re going through something too
Maybe the other person had a rough day, got bad news, or is feeling overwhelmed.
If they’re not fully present, it’s probably not about you, they just don’t have the energy right now to really listen and give you the quality presence you need. 🌲
Being overwhelmed is like catching a cold: everyone goes through it at some point, in one way or another.
How to feel heard, seen, and understood
1. Check for misinterpretation
If you think someone misunderstood you, ask them to repeat what they understood.
If it’s not what you meant, gently clarify the parts they got wrong, and keep going until they truly get your message.
2. Use relatable metaphors
If you do things that are out of the ordinary or you're different from the average teen, try using comparisons that others can relate to.
For example, if you fly planes and want to explain a move to friends who don’t, compare it to something from a game they play, like a sharp turn in a racing game.
3. When you don’t know how to explain what you feel
If you’re going through something new and can’t quite put it into words, that’s okay.
Start by sharing what you do know: maybe you feel a tightness in your chest, or a mix of emotions you can’t name.
Say something like “I’m not sure how to explain it, but I’d love your help figuring it out.”
They might ask questions or help you find a metaphor that best describes what you’re experiencing.
4. Pick the right moment
If the person you’re talking to is angry, upset, distracted, or doesn’t have time, try waiting until they’re calm.
Before starting the conversation, ask: “Is this a good time to talk?” That way, you both have space to connect properly.
5. Use calm, honest language
If you want others to listen without getting defensive, try rephrasing. Instead of saying “You don’t understand me”, say something like:
“I feel frustrated when I’m not listened to, because I really want to be heard.”
Using this vulnerable sentence might make them melt like ice cream on a hot summer day. 😆
Bonus tips to feel truly seen
6. Reflect through journaling or by taking a walk
Ask yourself: “What exactly happened? What did I think in that moment? What else might be going on? Is there another way to look at it?”
Writing this down can help you see things more clearly and calmly.
7. Find YOUR people
Besides family and your favorite teachers, try joining new groups or communities where people seem to “get” you more easily.
Sometimes, feeling understood starts with finding the right environment.
8. Be your own best friend
When you feel like no one understands you, take a solo walk or sit somewhere quietly and say to yourself what you would say to a close friend that you care about who is also feeling misunderstood.
Or write it down: What would comfort you? What do you wish others would say to make you feel accepted, included, safe?
And pay attention to the people who ask thoughtful questions and wait patiently for your answers. They’re showing you THEY CARE.
9. Be kind to yourself
Not even puppies, cats, or chocolate are liked or understood by everyone, and those things usually bring smiles and joy to lots of people! 🍫
You can even think of feeling misunderstood as a cool level in a video game, a challenge you get to beat to level up and earn rewards.
And the more you practice, the better you get at it, until one day, you pass that level with flying colors. 🎮